i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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