I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
