her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
