my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
