I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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