Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
