i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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