if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
