You can't motorboat a personality
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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