so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
