I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
