I am spending my child support on dildos
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize