Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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