I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just forgot I was standing up.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize