Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
