I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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