Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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