Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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