You can't motorboat a personality
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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