This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize