AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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