it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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