she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
