i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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