Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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