So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
