What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
