So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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