just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
