I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
