I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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