11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
