Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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