No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
