My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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