Cold hands, warm shart.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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