I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
