Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
