How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
