He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
