from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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