Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
