I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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