what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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