There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
