i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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