Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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