I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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