No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
