'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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