We're facebook friends in real life
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
