my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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