don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
