just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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