How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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