It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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