dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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