I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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