do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
